Idol

When one is young, naiive, and 55 pounds overweight, they are often lacking a good role model in their life. This was my case roughly between the ages of 8 and 13. It can't necessarily be generalized that I lacked any good role model between these ages; I certainly had plenty to choose from, it was that I chose the wrong ones (Matt Dillon's role in The Outsiders, Emperor Palpatine in Star Wars, and Sean Connery in Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade). Fortunately, in my crucial high school years, I'd been wiser in choosing my role models (Patrick Swayze in The Outsiders, Chewbacca from Star Wars, and Kurt Vonnegut) and had a relatively positive experience. However, I am now in college, a brave new world where one can only rely upon oneself...right? Wrong.

I have found a role model. Today at the gym I happened to see a man of great stature who had an aura of charisma about him. Cut off denim shorts, US Army special forces shirt with the sleeves cut off, and long, curly black hair kept in style of a Hellenic god. When it comes to physical emulation, I now have the crucial guidance I needed at such an important time in my life...

I really want a Waffle.